I love it so much
on March 04, 2013
Firstly, I must start out by mentioning to any owners of pet dragons, especially the mother of dragons, this is a horrible thing to feed them. I almost had to rush mine to the vet, but unfortunately my insurance does not cover 'mythical creatures'. When asked to see the dragons, I told them they were too tired, and they automatically assume I was lying. Just in case you're wondering, my insurance, not many people have it. It is suppose to be the greatest insurance that ever is, and will be. But I did not come here to complain about insurance, did I?
This 'ice' is insanely difficult to make. The daunting task of freezing water. Mind you, obtaining a freezer is tough work, too. Not long after I set off on my journey for the one freezer to freeze them all, I bump nto a big, blue, police box. Out of nowhere, I walk the same route every day, and all of a sudden, I look like I just ran smack into some 1960's show. Not moments after that, a very tall, yet young looking fellow, stepped out and apologized. Said he came here by accident, and wanted to know if I had seen any rather strange activity. He seemed like an excited fellow, said he was looking for Clara. I only knew of one Clara, my neighbor, but again, irrelevant. I told him no, when a buzzing noise emitted from his pocket. He pulled it out, ran off and shouted "Geronimo!!" The lunatics you run into these days. Anyway, I finally made it to my local wal-mart. Seeing how I've never owned a freezer before, I must've asked 5 people before I got someone who wasn't old, and spoke english. I told them I wanted to make ice, and they suddenly started speaking to me rather slowly. It was annoying, but chances are I wasn't going to find another guy like him anytime soon, so I endured. He asked if I have a refrigerator. When I told him I did, he explained there is a freezer on the top of every refrigerator. I felt like an idiot, and left the store, seeing how it was pointless to purchase something I obviously already have. As I left, I turned a few corners to see a man in a black overcoat and jumped off a building. I'm not sure who he is, but I overheard a man crying out "THAT MAN WAS MY ONLY FRIEND." If that was true, then I feel sorry for the man. As I continued walking, I passed by a creepy looking statue. It didn't look like other statues, and yet, it did. I kept walking, but felt like I was being watched. I Finally got back home, and was greeted by my dragons, Potter and Voldemort. I feel like they don't like each other, and one of them doesn't have a nose. I keep meaning to get help for him, but again, my insurance company is run by a bunch of idiots.
If you find yourself in the middle of the desert for days, with no access to water, how is one suppose to make this, exactly? Even at home, nearly 70 attempts, before I finally got the water to stop moving before putting it in the freezer, and don't ask me how, I just did it, ok. 2 hours and 2 minutes? I can wait that long. So I did. At least, I tried to. There was ongoing noise outside, and on the news there were a bunch of people going crazy, I mean blowing up a football field, really? I flipped the channel. Apparently, more people, going crazy, including a man dressed up in red, white, and blue, a man in an iron suit, a guy I'm sure all the ladies dig, with a big hammer, and an enormously big green rage monster. I could of sworn I didn't clean my room today, because I got high.
Finally, after 2 grueling hours and 2 minutes later, my ice was ready. At least, I thought. Just then, the same man who came out of the police box I saw earlier, burst into my house, shut the door, and introduced himself as 'The Doctor'. I didn't know anyone was sick.
He looked around the house, and after looking displeased, he told me 'Don't blink'. I have a disease that causes me to be unable to do so, so I told him, and he left. Not even so much as a goodbye, rude.
Anyway, after I FINALLY got to pull my ice out of the freezer, it was stone cold and insanely hard to chew. I threw this monster of a creation out my window, and decided after a long day, it was time for bed. I had attempted to search for my weekly bottle of rum, to be disappointed once more. Empty. Again. Why is the rum always gone? In addition, not long after throwing this 'ice' out the window, I could've sworn I heard a guy shout "MY LEG!"
This is an awful thing to make for people. how can you enjoy it? And what's this talk I hear about something called 'ice cream'? Eh, no thanks.
Even Chef Gordon Ramsay himself would yell "ITS RAW" in anger and disapproval.
PS: My other neighbor, whom I have yet to learn his name, really has to stop calling me in the middle of the night. I don't know who he thinks I am, butt I am most certainly not his 'preciousssssssssss'.
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